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Breezes Runnaway Bay 06/01/02
Reviewers Rating:  Good
Background: We attended the resort from May 22-28, 2002. We did the super-surprise plus and ruled our Montego Bay. We ran into lots of super surprise people at Breezes, but everyone we talked to at Hedo booked it directly. We decided that Memorial Day weekend was probably pretty packed, so there probably weren't too many super surprise upgrades. We're an active, social couple in our early thirties. Most of our previous Caribbean all inclusive experiences have been with Club Med, so we're used to nice (but not luxurious) clubs, very active and social guests and staff, exceptional food, and an environment where the staff pulls everyone into the activities and events. As we found out, this is not the Breezes environment. Flight and transfer: We flew air Jamaica to Montego Bay. The flight down was delayed three hours due to equipment problems, but once on the plane the flight was nice. Air Jamaica serves free beer (red stripe), wine, and champagne in the cabin with their meals, which was cool. The "taste of Jamaica" meal, though, was terrible. The ride to the club was relatively uneventful but seemed like it took forever (about 1.5 hours). They played one reggae tape that looped over and over again... Definitely got old, especially when this was the same tape on the return ride. Warning: while Superclubs does not allow tipping at the club itself, everyone associated with the club expects (and is insistent upon) tips. This includes the baggage porters at the airport, the drivers, the tour guides, the caddies, etc. Make sure you have plenty of small U.S. change with you. First impressions: We got to the club at around 11pm. The front desk staff was inefficient and, we thought, rude. It took them 15-20 mins to check in three people. While the facilities themselves were nice, when we walked into the main lounge/lobby area, we were dismayed. On the left, a half dozen people were sitting around the piano bar smoking and singing the theme to the Brady Bunch. On the right there were a bunch of people sitting around, smoking, and playing board games. (My wife and I don't smoke, so all the smoking was a major turnoff... This club (and Hedo) doesnít really have smoking/non-smoking areas, so non-smokers are at a major disadvantage). Here and there were groups and couples sitting around staring off into space doing nothing. Our hearts sank. We tried to convince ourselves that this depressed atmosphere was due to the fact that this was the third straight day of rain at the club. In the end, we didn't ever really find out since it rained for the next four days as well. Toga party and midnight buffet: My wife went straight to bed, but I was hungry, so I headed to the bar for a pine colada and waited for the midnight buffet. I sat around people watching for a half hour or so... The majority of people were there as couples. Here and there was a pair or small group of single men and/or women. Average age appeared to range from the mid-twenties to mid-forties. Side note for the guys: if I had been a single guy at the resort, I would have been pretty bummed- for whatever reason, the average fitness level of the people at the resort was very low... Most of the men and women were definitely overweight (to be expected since the main activity appeared to be smoking and drinking). This was slightly made up for by the skimpy clothing, but it was still pretty slim pickings. The midnight buffet was pretty good, though not particularly Jamaican. I had a couple pieces of fried chicken and some tropical fruit. I stopped in at the toga party for a few minutes on my way back to the room. The music at the disco was standard stateside clubbing music (no real international flavor). Almost everyone had togas on, but none were very revealing. I stayed around to see the "most revealing" prize... In the end the dj didn't give it out since no one revealed anything. Definitely not Hedo. Breakfast: The breakfast buffet was pretty good. There was an assortment of fruits and various hot dishes (including waffles, french toast, breakfast meats, etc.). There was a limited cereal and pastry selection. The highlight was definitely the omelet bar. (unfortunately, the breakfast selection did not change much from day to day, so it got pretty boring by the fifth day.) Club grounds and restaurants: The facilities were pretty nice, if getting a little old. Since it rained almost the whole time, we didn't get to see the club in its splendor very much. Our only complaint was that they couldn't seem to make the jacuzzis very hot. The one by our room was positively cold, the main jacuzzi at the lounge was warm, though the nude jacuzzi was pretty hot. The funniest thing was the lap pool (featured both on the web site and the resort map). My wife and I are both triathletes, so we were excited about getting a couple of training swims in. Unfortunately, the "lap pool" is a tiny little lily pond next to the recreation area. It's two feet deep, L-shaped, and maybe 30 feet long total. That's where marketing steps over the line and becomes a shameless lie. We only experienced three of the restaurants (the starlight lounge never opened due to the rain). The main terrace was a nice open-air facility. Martinos was great. The beach grill was about what youíd expect from a beach grill. The rooms were nice but basic. Each one had a nice little balcony. The beds were not very good- we woke up sore every morning. Each room had a TV with basic cable and a few movie channels. On the plus side, it came in useful during the worst of the rainstorms. On the minus side, the people next to us were tv-hollics, and we had to hear their TV 24x7. Beaches: The beach was nice, if a little short (maybe 200 yards long). There's a small reef about 30 meters off shore that you can snorkel over, which was fun. On the west side, there is a little sand berm that divides the prude from the nude beach. It was a joke though- on the other side of the nude beach is a long pier from the FDR resort next door upon which kids and families were constantly playing (with full views of the nude beach). In fact, families were regularly walking over to the Breezes beach as they had none for themselves. Lunches: Boring. Little variety, marginal quality. Little international flair except for the regular jerk dish (they had one each day, rotating between chicken, pork, and lamb). Sports activities: There is a full range of water sports, but unfortunately the wind and the rain kept us away from most of them. There is a circus school that was only open for a few hours due to the weather. While it was open, it looked pretty fun. There is no trampoline (contrary to the marketing). We took the free golf lessons, which were actually pretty good (there is no video lesson though, again contrary to the marketing). We also managed to get in 9 holes between the rainsqualls. The green fees are free, but it cost us ~$25 each for club rentals and a caddy (required). It turned out to be great- the caddy was very knowledgeable about golf and it ended up being a two-hour golf lesson ("no mon, you can no turn the club head like that mon"). The golf was definitely one of the trip highlights. We did scuba dive a couple of times. On the plus side, the dive sites are 5 mins from shore, which was nice, and the scuba is free. On the minus side, the dive boat is very small, and was totally over crowded on our first dive. To make matters worse, the storm had the seas kicked up pretty high, and people ended up getting seasick. Once in the water, the conditions were decent (but visibility was marginal due to the storm). The wrecks are pretty cool, but there was little animal life. We did a night dive (our first) which was very very cool- kind of like being in a Jacques Cousteau film... I highly recommend it. Nightlife: Our biggest disappointment was the lack of involved nightlife. There was a small show every night at 9:30 that ranged from interesting to horribly boring. After that you were on your own; some people went to the piano bar, some went to play board games, most went elsewhere. A couple dozen people ended up in the disco every night, but it was a pretty dull scene. Compared to Hedo, the nightlife was obviously very tame. Surprisingly, though, the nude hot tub did get naughty after hours, though at a much reduced volume and intensity than one would find at Hedo. There were small (2-4 couples) "parties" going on on the two nights that we headed over there around midnight (not being swingers, we did not participate). Excursions: We did the Dunns river waterfall climb which was fun (if a bit touristy and crowded). We also did the "stay at one, play at two" day drip to Hedo iii. Hedo iii was a very nice club (though the beach sucked), but was also plagued by the "rainy day blues" syndrome. We visited the nude area for a couple of hours. It was pretty tame (though very social) the day we were there, but some folks we talked to said that the day before there had been a full-blown lunchtime orgy. The overall age range at the club tracked with Breezes, but the nude area was definitely older (we may have been the youngest people there). Summary: We rated our experience as "ok". Certainly, the horrible weather was a major downer, so we probably would have had a better experience under better weather conditions. Give the (super-surprise) price, we did get our money's worth. However, this club is no Club Med- you need to bring the fun with you. I think it's unlikely that we'll go back to Breezes. We may try out a Hedo or a Grand Lido at some point, but we'll probably head back to Club Med once or twice before we do that.
Dan Cripe
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