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Jamaica Grande 01/27/2003
Reviewers Rating:  Fair
Renaissance Jamaica Grande Resort: "Yuck!!! (January 1-January 8, 2003)"
Reviewer: Anonymous, S. Florida, January 13, 2003
Let me begin by saying that I don't want to insult anyone or their taste. When you read my review remember that it is strictly MY perceptions and impressions. Now that I've gotten the PC statement out of the way, the gloves are off and it's time to get down to business.
Apart from our wonderful chambermaid and our lovely view, my boyfriend and I hated the Jamaica Grande (there was nothing grand or grande about it). We are both world travelers and have discerning tastes and expectations...boy were we at the wrong resort.
The food was barely edible in all of the restaurants and on all of the buffets (you can't replace quality with quantity, but that's what it seems like they are doing), our hotel room a disgrace (mold growning on the walls, dirty bath mats for bedside rugs, discolored ceiling tiles (I didn't want to look too closely at exactly what was growing their).
The all-inclusive, non-motorized watersports were not all-inclusive...$35 for windsurfing on horrible equipment? (An aside...they wanted $5pp to play minigolf...it's not the money, it's the principle.) The entertainment, though well-meaning was less than lackluster. Elevators were scary (the middle one in the south tower has a habit of jerking on the fifth floor before making a sudden drop to the fourth floor...whether you were going up or down), you may want to pray before boarding them, even if you are not a religious person.
I was bombarded, from every direction, by people trying to sell me drugs, and not just grass either. I was offered ... Some of these may be redundant, but I wasn't carrying a "druggie to english" dictionary. Besides being offered it, people (hotel beach staff included) were walking along with joints in hand everywhere (even by the pools where small children were playing).
Would I go back? Not unless it was down to a choice between spending one more night there or chew off my own leg.
K
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